Whoa Begone

Saturday, April 16th, 2005

"Whoa Begone!"

Greetings yet again from the lovely land of Youngsville, Louisiana. The weather here today was quite beautiful. Perfect for being outside. Except that I decided to go and see a film that I'd long hoped would one day be made, "Sin City," based on the comic books of the same name that I read in high school.

It was excellent, but I'd rather not get into a film review here. Let me just say it's definitely worth the price of admission. One caveat: if you're in any way squeamish when it comes to violence and bloodshed, avoid this film. Or, at the very least, close your eyes when you think something's about to happen you'd rather not see. For those of you who, like me, love dark, gritty, crime drama, this movie is for you. You'll love it as much as I did. And when you consider that it was made entirely against a green screen with the use of only minimal foreground props, you'll be amazed. I knew this going in and never noticed. It's an amazing achievement and I really think it's where films are headed.

Moving on to the topic at hand, which is related to the cinematic experience I had today. I substitute taught one class at Lafayette High this morning before going to the film. As most of you know, LHS is only a few blocks away from The Grand, the only theater in the area with true stadium seating and quality digital surround sound. (That's not a plug, just a fact.) I left LHS around a quarter to one and was in the Grand parking lot a full forty minutes before the film started. I purchased my ticket and spent the thirty minutes I had left after visiting the restroom sitting in dim, air-conditioned bliss. No wonder summer movies are so damned popular. That half hour before the film was relaxing and serene. Damn night perfect except for one thing...

...the "music" playing before the trailers began.

I will attempt to describe this as best as I can, though I'm sure you're all familiar with this. A picture of tantalizing concessions will come on the screen, accompanied by "la la la la la la la la la la, oh whoa whoa whoa."
Let's go over that again for the folks in the back. "La la la la la la la la la la, oh whoa whoa whoa."

What gives with this? "Oh whoa whoa whoa?" The hell?! You're telling me that out of the nonsense syllables readily available to any composer/songwriter, "oh whoa whoa whoa" was the best they could do? I mean, "oh whoa. whoa. whoa.?" How does a singer even sing that with a straight face? My God. It's terrible. What's worse is that it's like that damn "She's a Barbie Girl" song from years back. IT JUST KEEPS PLAYING IN YOUR MIND.

OH WHOA WHOA WHOA. OH WHOA WHOA WHOA. It's...it's nightmarish, really.

I'm no musician, and I'm sure it's hard to come up with this stuff sometimes, but please. How about "la la la la la la la (you get the picture)...do doobie doobie doo?" That's much more acceptable. It's jazzy. It's funny. Reminds the kiddies of Scooby Doo. Everybody wins. And really, isn't that what we all want when we go to the movies?

I have a veritable plethora, a bona fide myriad of film-related topics I will ramble about here. But that's it for today. Thanks for reading, Meauxses